How do I motivate my wife to lead a more active lifestyle ?

Question by Lab Accident: How do I motivate my wife to lead a more active lifestyle ?
She tells me she wants to get in better physical shape, and I buy her all of the equipment she needs, the running shoes, the outfits, the pilates mat and ball, the videotapes, the baby jogger, the iPod, but she never does anything. Am I being manipulated, or is there something else I can do to get her motivated without getting angry?

Serious answers only. Thank You.

Best answer:

Answer by bmac
Not really. You can’t make her do it, she has to want to do it. Never mention her weight or anything related to it or you WILL be sleeping on the couch or in the doghouse.

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9 thoughts on “How do I motivate my wife to lead a more active lifestyle ?

  1. Offer to work out WITH her. If you’re mainly concerned with her health and not her shape, she’ll be more motivated. Also, work together to eat the right foods. If she’s supposed to be eating salads while you’re putting away pizza, it’s gonna be rough! I recently lost 23# and my husband is thrilled with the results. I did it for my health–I have some serious health issues. Taking it one day at a time and being committed to not having garbage food in your house and putting aside the time to exercise is key. All the best!

  2. Truly, I think the best thing you can do is let it rest. It is difficult to start something if you feel as if you are being watched or judged. Keep quiet, don’t even go on when she mentions it. Just nod politely and smile. Let her get going on her own. Your help is nice, but she needs to feel you truly accept her as she is before she can feel motivated to change. It is disheartening when women feel that the men they are with want them to change physically – even if that is what they want.

    Trust me on this, female psych thing.

  3. You can only lead by example because you cannot buy somebody motivation. However please do not nag, belittle, or criticize, as this will have the opposite effect.

  4. Lead by example! Start going for walks together. Take her jogging or to the gym. Go swimming, or ice skating….anything. You could easily make your time together healthy time instead of just watching a movie or going out to dinner.

    Is she *really* overweight, or are you just being really picky? (Just had that thought – no offense intended)

    For me, I get motivation from various fitness message boards. It’s always nice to talk to someone who knows what you’re going through. If she’s really overweight, she can find people in a similar situation. If she’s not really overweight, just out of shape, she can find people in THAT situation. I use workouts by Beach Body (Turbo Jam) and T-Tapp – both products have fantastic message boards with all the support in the world.

    What does she LIKE to do? Is there any chance that she’s depressed, and that’s why she’s not interested?

    Motivation is the hardest part of working out for just about everyone. I wish I had a magic solution for you, but I don’t. She has to WANT it….you can’t want it for her.

    Good luck to you both.

  5. Yes, definitly offer to workout with her. Or better yet, take the child (children) and let her work out on her own. It is too easy to excuse working out when you are having to deal with the children.

  6. Try involving yourself in a fitness program with her. Show her that your interest in her health is meaningful to you as a loving and caring life-partner. Express the benefits added through good health and the potential values passed on to your children.
    Best of luck.

  7. well im a stay at home mom and i would love to be more active during the day too but its so hard to self motivate…us ladies prefer company when we do things we dont really look forward to taking a walk by our selves what a bore! maybe you can encourage her by walking with her at night when your home or simply make some suggestions like “hey why dont you walk to the store tomorrow and buy yourself something nice while your at home bored” stuff like that i know i tend to feel stuck when im home alone plus with a baby that makes it even harder to accomplish anything for yourself because the baby seems to always need one thing or the other…whatever you say be nice she probably just needs a partner in crime when getting motivated

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